An Ode to Douche Tank on ‘FBoy Island,’ the Best Game in Reality TV History

If I had the opportunity to drench a man in water every time he said something foolish—well, keep the hose on. We’re going to need a never-ending stream to make that dream a reality.

FBoy Island introduced this utopian fantasy with its brilliant mini game, Douche Tank, which has been a staple on the show since Season 1 premiered over two years ago. Now, in the most recent episode of Season 3, the ladies—Katie, Hali, and Daniella—are given the opportunity to play Douche Tank with the remaining men. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Douche Tank is a little like the game Hot Seat, in which players are brought to the front of the group and must answer tricky questions asked by host Nikki Glaser. If they answer in a way that sounds, well, douchey, the women have the opportunity to tug a rope and douse them in a bucket of cold water. This is a way for the women to weed out the FBoys from the Nice Guys.

Our first Douche Tank player, noted FBoy Jared, sits below the bucket with fear in his eyes. Glaser begins: “When you find yourself alone, and you’re looking for adult content, what are some key terms you search?” Jared evades the question by saying he’s never watched adult content. He’s safe, but the ladies can tell he’s a liar.

The best Douche Tank moment comes from Keem, one half of the identical twins competing on this year’s FBoy. Glaser offers him a question in the form of a game: “F, marry, or ghost these three women?” Okay, Keem. There’s an easy answer here. Seeing as twin bro Elijah is talking to Hali and Keem has been spending time with Katie, one would think he would ghost the former, marry the latter, and F whomever is left.

Nope. Keem says he’d F Hali, “Because if my brother is interested, I feel like we can have good taste together.” Immediately, the water comes down on Keem’s head. What the hell, dude? These twins were just put on the chopping block for posting on TikTok about how they pass women back and forth like hot potatoes—gross—and Keem isn’t doing himself any favors by perpetuating that narrative.

Elijah gets the same question in the Douche Tank and passes in flying colors when he chooses to marry Hali, F Daniella, and ghost Katie, who is interested in his brother. It’s that easy, Keem. But FBoys are unlike any other creature to ever walk this earth and often struggle with not saying the most insulting thing at all times. This sure makes Keem look like an FBoy.

Thus concludes the Douche Tank. I can’t imagine having to wait another year for more; alas, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Afterwards, the girls do some mingling and go on some short dates—Hali with shady Mercedes, Katie with suave Benedict, and Daniella with sweet Christian—followed by the elimination round. Keem, Marco, Danny, CJ, Elijah and Keith are put up as the bottom six, and must plead their case to stay on the island.

Ultimately, Keem’s poor behavior results in his demise, as his relationship with Katie can’t be salvaged. He bids a tearful goodbye to his brother Elijah, who is safe. Keith, the man with the deepest voice I’ve ever heard, is also sent home, alongside returning star Danny, who wasn’t able to grab any of the girls’ attention this season. Keith and Keem are revealed as FBoys (FBye!), while Danny has become a Nice Guy (Nice try!) after he was an FBoy last season.

The teaser for next week’s episode is the most dramatic one this season. Glaser teases a big mix-up. If Season 3 is anything like its predecessors, I’d bet that next week, we’re going to get the huge reveal of who is an FBoy and who is a Nice Guy. But FBoy Island is full of twists, so who knows?

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